pre-harddisco album, guitar-based electronica, written from 1993-95. this was recorded on my old fostex four-track, with better sound quality than the previous two albums (see pre-harddisco hardware for details). remastered in 2011.

value of suffering material compiled originally on four cds with mix of vocal tracks and instrumentals - see here for details.

written and performed by the value of suffering. no third party material on this album.

track listing: click to play

i'd like to thank you for releasing me
for filling me with such a love

inspiring me to behave unselfishly
i'd like to thank you just for needing me
you've made me useful now on your behalf
and calmed my insecurity

please cling to me, behave possessively
display quite clearly that you're desperate for me
only then will you defy my insecurity

i'd like to thank you for convincing me
i'm not as hideous as i had thought

possessing no deformity
i'd like to thank you for soothing me

helping me relax and feel secure
free from past anxiety
please cling to me...
parade before me please the most attractive women in the world
and let me see that their beauty's merely something quite absurd
try and persuade me that for their great looks and charm i should fall

watch as i laugh and move to you, turning my back upon them all
my insides feel unwell and unstable / yet when i hold you, they right themselves
a mysterious chemical process
no longer do i have a type of female beauty i prefer
no size or face or eyes or hair colour to which i would defer
no other female face will ever make me turn my head again
for it is you i love, why should i wish you looked more like them?

what value is there in a face when it's the human that we love? - your soul i love
i love your nose because behind that nose is the mind i love - your mind i love
the pin up queen of whom men dream and gladly would
desert their entire life for - desert their wife for
she might beckon to me and smile irresistibly but i'd not like her
cos you're not like her, and it's you i love
i love you more than i love life / but is that just because i hate this life
love you more than i love myself / but is that just because i hate myself
what romance can their be in hardship? how sweet is misery and gentle death?
can't let my past contaminate my present
can't let my careless present ruin our future
because i loathe myself, i can't
believe that others don't
i'm pleased when others have
their faults exposed before me
i need to hear that i'm superior
and why - i love to hear them criticised

and so i won't accept your high regard for me
till you insult and downgrade my friends to me

if you confide in a less than favourable way
i'll feel secure and not dismayed
and now the revolution's past it surely can be seen
just what a dangerous failure man's technology has been
a sad and stubborn farce of ruthless inefficiency
machine utopia lost to mankind's ugly industry
how proud man's been / so sure that his intelligence would transform the world scene
into a paradise of leisure / that freed from labour by machines, we then could treasure
higher thought and liberty / and yet he's caught fast in his own ingenuity
in this system he's contrived / where work and stress and contest eat people's lives
and they do not realise / how inefficient, time consuming and unwise
man's way of doing things has been
with filth from all his factories poisoning earth's green

industry it was assumed would heal and not despoil /
man could be provided for without wasting life in toil
but if one man with just his labour can feed so many men
where's the time we've saved ourselves with civilisation then?
and so much time it takes / for a man to feed his family on the wage he makes
and so his children he neglects / from cherishing his wife to business he defects
so what then is his gain? can all his luxuries make him less aware iof pain?
no, but it's too late / soiety and media made his mind stagnate
and thus with all our pains / banality in life has softened mankind's brains
so industry is vile / our minds have not been freed and earth has been defiled
i hate to think of men who leer at pornography
who deny the unique value found in female company

desert their wives and girlfriends for an evening with the boys
treating ugly girls like slaves and pretty girls like toys
agree with you that man has made a mockery of love
despised and tortured womankind for centuries and more

ignored their tender feelings, their sensitivity
beaten them and bullied them with masculinity

so yes like you i see the need for changes to made /
i see the reasons for your anti-male crusade
but when you're preaching hate of men, you give your cause the lie
and alienate the men who could have been your best allies
agree with you man is not aware of what he lacks
the qualities he can't possess, found in the fairer sex
he feels no plan of his will ever need female consent
unaware of just how much he needs her complement
it seems enlightened women have a vital part to play
in recognising all abuses that have come their way
refusing to tolerate man's egocentric mind
identifying bigotries that must be left behind
so yes i see the gulf between the sexes must be closed
and thus you stand condemned for the hostility you show
you're nurturing the hatred between man and womankind
displaying the short-sightedness that you claim to despise
befriend someone who's cool and they'll bully you mentally
convince you that the silences are your responsibility
punish you for boring him with sheer effort of will
his self-esteem riding on the fear that he instils

there is tension between humans - we are all so insecure
some fear that to mention it will make it all the more
plenty for a brutal, clever, frightened man to use
lots of fear in weaker ones for him to abuse

so when you're out together, how to cool ones behave?
do they show nobility as the weakeer ones they save?
or do they prey upon the nervousness, aloofly sit at ease
their coldness and their poise making you writhe and seek to please

there is tension between humans - we are all so insecure
some fear that to mention it will make it all the more
plenty for a brutal, clever, frightened man to use
lots of fear in weaker ones for him to abuse