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8 songs written from 1997 - 1999, unfinished at the time due to lack of vocal recording / production facilities in 2005, thanks to software processing, these songs were completed at last.
no third party loops or samples |
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no composure / no confidence can't ever relax / never natural negative is cool / hostility's so glamorous and I always watch you / please admire me your personality always overwhelms me i have to give way to your will, i have to condemn them hypocrisy is my life / how could i live without it i have to give way to their will / i have to condemn you social vortex / pulls you in spins you round / disorientates you got to find a hold / fight your way to the top your foot in someone else's face / crush them beneath you |
how effective are the lies that i told you do you rely on my exclusive love for you do you trust me not to leave you are you convinced that i prefer you i've got to take who i can get when I can get them but i wouldn't die for you i wouldn't die from losing you i'm not ashamed to use and then get rid of you when the one i really love becomes available and gives me a call i lied when i said that you were perfect for me you're not the one that I always dreamed of the best that i can say is that you're bearable and that you made yourself available |
yes i have a girlfriend now and she married me and i'm almost normal now and you can mention me yes i'm nearly normal now, not so embarassing but i'm still causing you problems - i just can't live like you what did you expect? that i'd grow out of my unhappy phase that i'd stop being abnormal when i stopped being lonely did you think i was pretending just to get some attention it was never adolescence, just the general effect of life now i have a job and a house and some children too we can talk about our holidays and our furniture yes we'll talk about anything that's insignificant and pretend that the future will never come |
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you're older now and you're going to die and it's closer than you are comfortable with just yesterday, you were young and beautiful now you're older than you thought was possible and if you'd rather die than be different then that is the choice that you have made if you'd rather talk about your decorating than the state of the world, so be it it's painful to think of - it's unbearable it's bigger than you are, and it frightens you it's not comfortable, not recreational not any of the things you convinced yourself that life was about |
children kill for pleasure and it's normal parents kill their children and it's normal people hate their lives and that's normal i'm glad i've never been normal normal is not what's acceptable normal is not what's justified normal is never what's moral normal is just what happens to you violent entertainment is normal copycat murders are normal baseball bats and knives are normal i'm glad i've never been normal |
be with me, be my friend look up to me and love me play with me, enjoy my company admire me and need me i'll try to stop you... i'll try to stop you ending up like me who'd want to be like me - not me and i don't want you to be be with me, be my friend forgive me, and love me stay with me, and live indefinitely admire me and need me |
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i'm dead - i died last night / with a little pitter patter and now I'm gone / i hope you all will miss me i hope you miss me just a little miss me in the morning / miss me in the evening it's the feeling of air brushing against your skin it's the the touch of the sun it's the caress of the breath of tree against the skylight the last gasp in the sound of daybreak i'm dead - I want you all to notice i'm not turning up for practice i'm dead - being alive was better even when it was painful and I hated it i'm dead - passed away in the dark i was a bit unhappy, just a little i'm red - ready for the last stand i pushed a hole through the evening i'm dead - that's just the way it is but I've got a little story i'll tell you now I'm showing arranged and performed by harddisco words and music by my darling nihilist thanks for permission |
if your job's more like a sentence than a career
you weary men, don't have sons if your father twisted you, broke you down break the cyle, break it now i'll humiliate you today grind your bones to make my career delegate you half to death and criticise you to the ground every day you have to face him and he's the most serious threat to your sanity and his management is the greatest punishment that could be devised for you i'll humiliate you today grind your bones to make my career delegate you half to death and criticise you to the ground when you get home you'll read your paper switch on the tv, ignore your family shout at any noise they make and pass your insecurity on |
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